French Toast

French toast is not egg cooked on the outside of bread. French toast is a custard, and should be treated more like a steak than an egg.

Choice of bread is often over-emphasized. The most important thing is that it be able to absorb lots of the custard fluid, and integrate well with it without falling apart. Thickness matters more than bread type. I like to cut slices between 0.75 and 1.5 inches.

Okay, here we go. This is a custard. I use heavy cream. Half and half would cut it, but sack up and don't use milk. You're eating French toast, you pansy.

1/2 cup heavy cream
5 eggs
spices

This is enough to make French toast for 2-4 people, depending on how much they eat. Add eggs to cream and mix well. I do this in a large Pyrex measuring cup. This is where I'd add spices if I were to do such a thing. Cinnamon, nutmeg maybe, ground cloves maybe, cayenne pepper maybe.

Have your bread sliced and ready. Ideally, you'll have sliced it the day before and left it out to dry - or just use stale bread, as it was intended. Less water in the bread means more absorption of custard and a firmer end result. Pour enough of your custard mixture into the bottom of a Pyrex baking dish to coat. Lay bread in cozy cozy. Pour remaining custard over the top, spreading evenly. The only reason to spread is to avoid dry spots. The custard will drain down into the dish and eventually be completely absorbed by the bread, so don't sweat the details. Cover with plastic wrap and fridgerate overnight. Yes, really - this is mandatory. Okay, fine. You can leave it for a couple hours minimum. Again, the watchwords here are integration and absorption, so use your best judgment.

Pre-heat your oven to 375. Now, heat a big cast-iron skillet over med-high heat. When hot, drop a tablespoon or two of butter in there. It will melt, then burn quickly, so have the soaked bread ready to go immediately. Lay everything down even over the melted butter and cook just until nicely browned. Flip everything and brown on the other side.

Your French toast is not done. Just like a thick steak, you want to sear the sides for flavor, but finish cooking in the oven. There is a load of creamy custard in the center of that French toast, and if you bite into it you will be grossed out like nobody's business. Putting all the pieces on the rack in the oven for 10-12 minutes will set the custard that makes up most of the interior, while keeping the outside crispy and golden brown, but not burned. I say rack because you definitely want to use a rack to avoid the sogginess that comes with steam buildup if they were set on a surface like a cookie sheet. Heed my words.

Now, your French toast is done. Enjoy with a bit of butter, and real warmed maple syrup. Coffee optional but recommended. Eat and then go take a nap before heading to the drug store for insulin booster shots.

Corn Chowder

8 ears corn
1 med yellow onion
2 orange bell peppers
2 cloves garlic

3 oz bacon or salt pork
1 tb butter
3 tb flour

3 cups chicken broth
3 cups milk (whole thickens best)
1 bay leaf

1-2 pinches saffron threads
1 cup cream

Start by harvesting kernels from 3 uncooked cobs corn - keeping the kernels as big as possible. Shed them into a large bowl and then set aside, retaining cobs. In another big bowl, milk the 3 corn cobs with the back of a butter knife. Shave open the kernels of the remaining cobs and milk into the second bowl. Set aside.

Dice onion med-fine. Mince garlic. Slice cap ends off bell peppers, remove inside, and roll out for skinning. Remove skin by sliding sharp knife under flesh against cutting board. Dice remaining flesh.

Begin by rendering fat from bacon or salt pork in med-hot dutch oven. If usuing bacon, remove when crispy, leaving behind rendered fat. Cook onions until translucent (sweat, don't sauté), adding garlic in last minute. Remove onions and garlic to bowl and add flour to oil, making a roux. If there is less than 3 Tb of fat in the bottom of the pot, add butter to compensate. Brown flour slightly (about 2 minutes), then add onions and garlic back. Slowly add broth, while whisking to smoothly integrate with roux. Once integrated, add milk, bay leaf, milked corn (but not whole kernels), and bell pepper. Bring to a simmer and cook for about 10 minutes.

In last minute of simmer, add saffron threads whole to enhance yellow color. Stir to integrate. Once integrated, add remaining corn kernels and cream. Bring to a simmer again and cook another 10 minutes, thickening very slightly.

Serve with toasted baguette and yummy salad. If you like, you can add potatoes to this recipe. Dice red potatoes into half-inch cubes and add when the broth goes in. They should stay whole through service, and will add somewhat to thickening.

Pressure Cooker

For my birthday, my mom and grandpa bought be a nice big 10 qt. pressure cooker. I've been into beans lately, and this sure makes experimentation a lot easier - being that it only takes 10 minutes to cook a batch, rather that 2 to 6 hours. I haven't yet even begun to think about the things I'll be able to do with meat.

I have made two batches of beans thus far, one small red beans flavored with smoked ham hock, another was actually real simple black-eyed peas. Both cooked under pressure for between 10 and 15 minutes, and both came out with the most buttery texture - like nothing I've ever made. In both cases, the flavor has been slightly lacking - not sure how to address that. In the case of beans flavored by meat, maybe I'll cook the meat a bit first (after browning, of course) to let more of its flavoring agents emerge, then remove it and do the beans in the fluids for the last 10 minutes.

Another issue is how to time the thing. There's a little button that pops up once some pressure has been established, but I get the feeling that is sort of minimal pressure to seal the vessel. Later, steam really starts issuing from the valve - and I expect this means it has reached full pressure. My instinct tells me to start timing at this point, but I really don't know. Then there is the matter of pressure release and temp-down - a whole 'nuther ballgame. Will have to just do plenty of experiments...

Pickled Beets

Saw some nice golden beets for relatively cheap at the Joe the other day. Couldn't pass up the opportunity to grab some. Here's what I did:

Cut them all in half lengthwise and steamed them for about 20 minutes. Once steamed, a tea-towel pulls the dirty, tough skins right off. Then the nice, clean steamed beets can be sliced into glowing golden rainbows, about 3/16 of an inch thick.

Next, I mixed half-and-half apple cider vinegar and honey - heating in the microwave to help dissolution. That's a lot of honey, I know, but it is worth it.

I poured the warm sugar/vinegar mixture over the beet slices and put them in the fridge for a few hours. Doing this for, I don't know, four to six hours creates a light pickling. When the time has passed, the pickling fluid has taken on an amazing yellow color, plus an earthy goodness from the beets. Pour it off and save it to use for vinaigrettes.

The par-pickled beets are now ready to eat. They're delicious when served with toasted walnuts and maybe a bit of crumbly dry feta or blue cheese. Also, add a bit of chopped parsley for grassiness and color contrast.

I think next time I'll get red beets in a ratio of maybe 1:8 for an additional point of visual interest.